Dear Nimisha,
I know it hurts to even walk to class because of the looks you get every time you do walk in there. I know how much pain you go through, even though you're only 12. I know that feeling you get when your classmates give you dirty looks. It pains me to see how much you're suffering, and how badly you want make it all go away. I know that every time, you get up in the morning, you always have a frightened expression and I know you make up excuses to stay back home so you don't have to deal with any of this. I know the pain and suffering you go through every time someone thought you were carrying a disease and stopped sitting next to you. I know how it feels when the one friend you have bails on you and doesn't want to stand up for you in any matter. I know you cry in the bathroom every day and I know most of time you just want to be in there for the whole day until school ends. I really just wish all this doesn't have to happen to you because I know deep down you're such a strong girl, but that one strength you have just gets stolen from you every day. I know you're suffering so bad and I wish I could help you right now. You feel so guilty and blame yourself for everything because that's all you can do.
I know how it feels when you stay at home during the weekends because all of the interest you had in things before has just gone. I know you're so strong and I just wish that would come out but I understand. It pains you to even fake a smile. I know you want to stay in bed all day, because that's where no one judges you.
Now you're 13, and you've moved onto the 8th grade. I know how it feels to still be stared at. I know it's possibly the hardest thing you've gone through. I know you have that inch of bravery in you that's waiting to come out but is stopped every time. Every single thing you used to enjoy before has become something you're scared of being asked to do. I know you bawl your eyes out every day and I know why you do it. You're not enjoying life like a normal 13 year old does, instead you're sitting at home and crying. I know you feel like you're the loneliest person on Earth. I know you think you have no one to talk to, but if I could see you right now, I would be there for you. I know you watch YouTube videos to take your mind off of things, but I know it doesn't help but you act like it does. I know how you say you're okay and then go and sit on the couch and cry at midnight. I know you push everyone away because you can't trust anyone. I know you still sit in the school bathroom and cry your eyes out. I know you have a lump in your throat whenever a teacher picks on you. I know you sit in a room at home and just stare outside and think about how everyone has turned on you.
Now you're 14, and you've moved to the US, and I know you've taken many days off in this new school too. Maybe no one will understand why, but I do and I always will. I know people tell you to be strong but it's just so hard to let things go. You sit alone at snack and lunch because you just can't even face people. I know you still cry everyday and I know you still feel alone. I know everything haunts you a year later. You can't smile anymore, let alone laugh. Your school performance improves but your emotional problems are still in you. You've found good friends, but you still get terrified they'll leave.
Now you're 15, and you're already in the 10th grade,wow. I know you're still hurting. 2 years later and nothing has changed. You cry every day and just want to stay home. It hurts Nimisha, I know it does. I know you feel like no one understands what you go through every single day. When counselors say it's best if you go to school, you cry. You can't do it and I understand. I know it hurts to even see people and I wish all of this would go away.
Now you're 16, and you've made a promise to keep all this behind you, but it still hurts so bad. You feel like you can't do it. You can't go to school and I know how you feel. I wish it wasn't so hard. I wish you felt differently. I wish you knew that I love you. I know you don't want to go to school, I understand so deeply, but everyone tells you to go. I know you go to the bathroom and still do cry because all you think about at school is what happened in India, I know it hurts so bad Nimisha, I know that there are monsters inside your head. I know life is so tough, but so are you Nimisha. I know you feel like your world has come crashing down, but I promise you it hasn't, I know you'll end up happy, I know you will.
I know it hurts to even walk to class because of the looks you get every time you do walk in there. I know how much pain you go through, even though you're only 12. I know that feeling you get when your classmates give you dirty looks. It pains me to see how much you're suffering, and how badly you want make it all go away. I know that every time, you get up in the morning, you always have a frightened expression and I know you make up excuses to stay back home so you don't have to deal with any of this. I know the pain and suffering you go through every time someone thought you were carrying a disease and stopped sitting next to you. I know how it feels when the one friend you have bails on you and doesn't want to stand up for you in any matter. I know you cry in the bathroom every day and I know most of time you just want to be in there for the whole day until school ends. I really just wish all this doesn't have to happen to you because I know deep down you're such a strong girl, but that one strength you have just gets stolen from you every day. I know you're suffering so bad and I wish I could help you right now. You feel so guilty and blame yourself for everything because that's all you can do.
I know how it feels when you stay at home during the weekends because all of the interest you had in things before has just gone. I know you're so strong and I just wish that would come out but I understand. It pains you to even fake a smile. I know you want to stay in bed all day, because that's where no one judges you.
Now you're 13, and you've moved onto the 8th grade. I know how it feels to still be stared at. I know it's possibly the hardest thing you've gone through. I know you have that inch of bravery in you that's waiting to come out but is stopped every time. Every single thing you used to enjoy before has become something you're scared of being asked to do. I know you bawl your eyes out every day and I know why you do it. You're not enjoying life like a normal 13 year old does, instead you're sitting at home and crying. I know you feel like you're the loneliest person on Earth. I know you think you have no one to talk to, but if I could see you right now, I would be there for you. I know you watch YouTube videos to take your mind off of things, but I know it doesn't help but you act like it does. I know how you say you're okay and then go and sit on the couch and cry at midnight. I know you push everyone away because you can't trust anyone. I know you still sit in the school bathroom and cry your eyes out. I know you have a lump in your throat whenever a teacher picks on you. I know you sit in a room at home and just stare outside and think about how everyone has turned on you.
Now you're 14, and you've moved to the US, and I know you've taken many days off in this new school too. Maybe no one will understand why, but I do and I always will. I know people tell you to be strong but it's just so hard to let things go. You sit alone at snack and lunch because you just can't even face people. I know you still cry everyday and I know you still feel alone. I know everything haunts you a year later. You can't smile anymore, let alone laugh. Your school performance improves but your emotional problems are still in you. You've found good friends, but you still get terrified they'll leave.
Now you're 15, and you're already in the 10th grade,wow. I know you're still hurting. 2 years later and nothing has changed. You cry every day and just want to stay home. It hurts Nimisha, I know it does. I know you feel like no one understands what you go through every single day. When counselors say it's best if you go to school, you cry. You can't do it and I understand. I know it hurts to even see people and I wish all of this would go away.
Now you're 16, and you've made a promise to keep all this behind you, but it still hurts so bad. You feel like you can't do it. You can't go to school and I know how you feel. I wish it wasn't so hard. I wish you felt differently. I wish you knew that I love you. I know you don't want to go to school, I understand so deeply, but everyone tells you to go. I know you go to the bathroom and still do cry because all you think about at school is what happened in India, I know it hurts so bad Nimisha, I know that there are monsters inside your head. I know life is so tough, but so are you Nimisha. I know you feel like your world has come crashing down, but I promise you it hasn't, I know you'll end up happy, I know you will.
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