2012… The year I became empty. I was full of emotion moving from a place I had adored and found so much love and peace in. Yet, it was crucial to move to another state in order to be a complete family. My beloved grandfather died after a painful battle with cancer on July 1, 2012, and I went to Chennai a couple of days later with my father. Joining school just a few days late was scary but I found friends and I later secured a place in Chennai, however; I had still left behind a piece of me in Hyderabad, but not just Hyderabad. I had left a piece of me in Nasr School, the school I studied in for about 5 years, but I left the biggest piece of me in Keshav Dale Apartment. The place served as a home, but also as a safe haven for me and my childhood friends. We ran around, played wall- touch, hide-n-seek. I was known as the "boss" when I was young, because I would attract friends and make the decision on what to play on a certain day. My best memories were carried with me to Chennai in hopes to make even better ones, with new people. I befriended many people after a couple of months, and in just a few short months, I felt like maybe Chennai wasn't going to be that bad to me. In the people I befriended, there was a boy that was also new and I felt was safe and could be a nice friend. He and I chatted on Facebook everyday after returning from school, and after a while, I felt like I could trust him. He had once told me that he felt like it wasn't worth living anymore. I was his friend, and as a friend I couldn't bear to hear something like that. I told him I cared about him and that it was worth living. I said this to him as a friend, but he took it as sign of flirtation and later that same day, asked me out…on Facebook. I felt guilt because if I said no, I was scared he would be suicidal again, so I said yes. In the following weeks, he took the "relationship" extremely seriously, and even went on to tell me he loved me. I was only 12, the only people I had felt love for was my family, not for some boy I had met a couple months ago, but could I tell him that? No. So, I told him that I loved him too. He was a possessive "boyfriend", he used to glare at me anytime I talked to other boys in class, and later threaten to break up with me on Facebook. Our relationship actually existed on Facebook, but our friendship was displayed around the campus. October of 2012, sometime in the night, he had enough of me talking to other boys in class, so he broke up with me. I couldn't bring myself to care enough so I told him that we are never ever getting back together. I think it was my lack of understanding that irked him to do what he did later on. We were on a bus to go to another branch of our school for some reason, and the bus had stopped at the school. I was sitting next to the girl who I had considered my closest friend there, she and I shared similar experiences and thoughts about moving to Chennai from a completely different state, and we quickly became good friends. It was a quick stop so all my classmates and I were on the bus just talking. After a hot minute, I heard some snickering and shocked sounds. I was sitting at the window seat, and I saw a note being passed to my friend. I saw the word slut on the note and started reading, and my heart immediately dropped. It said 'Nimisha is a slut and gives good BJ's'. I felt everyone around me stare and whisper. My first instinct was to get up and look back at who I had a feeling this note could be from, and boy was I right. There he was…. My "ex" sitting with his friends and laughing because they had achieved something like this. The look he gave me was simply a grin. There was no sympathy or any hint of being sorry. I sat back down and asked my friend if she could say something to them. Her response? "No, I don't know what to say.". I asked her why she wasn't ready to stand up for me, her friend, and she had no response. I felt like my whole world had come crashing down. I wanted to say something back but I didn't have the courage. I felt as though there was no one with me. I was alone, and there was nothing I could do about it. Weeks went by, he made several Facebook accounts with different names, threatening me that he wasn't going to stop harassing me. I blocked him multiple times, but he was a leech who kept following me. I was scared of going to school because every time I went, either all my pens were out on the desk with my water bottle emptied out on them, or someone pushed me "accidentally". There were times I wanted to take revenge, but I was drained emotionally, and I couldn't get myself to do it. I thought everyone would ignore me, but they would stare and make nasty comments every time I walked by. Some girls would ask my friend why I would be using her pencil or pen, because apparently I was a walking- talking STD spreading human. My own teacher twisted my fathers words and told the class I was seeking help at a mental institution, when my father actually told her I was seeing a therapist. Every individual stayed away from, including underclassmen and upperclassmen. I made excuses not to go to class because I couldn't bear to sit in that room anymore. A couple of days before school closed, I wanted to resolve everything, and decided to write a hand-written note to my "ex" and give it to him during class; something all his friends noticed and laughed about. I saw him read it and tear it and throw it in the trash. Why was I trying to resolve things with him? He made me feel miserable, yet I tried to make things better. That summer, my family and I tried our best to change schools, but it was too late. I was stuck in that hellhole for another year. By that time, both my  "ex" and my ex-friend had both left the school, and I was in the hopes that everyone would have forgotten about last year. Boy, was I wrong. I enter class, and all eyes on me. It was almost like I disturbed their existence, atleast that's what I felt like. I was already at a point where all I felt was sadness, and the surroundings I was placed in increased them. There were two girls who became fond of me that year, even though they disliked me immensely last year. I couldn't trust them, so I mostly just hung out by myself and they followed me. I became a top student in English, and even got an invite to go to a writing competition but I made an excuse not to, because I couldn't find the energy and the will to go. I didn't want to write my exams because I couldn't stand to be in that school for another minute, it was toxic. I blamed myself for everything and tried harming myself for the first time, just to feel some sort of emotion. During this tumultuous period, my "ex" got in contact with me several times and apologized. But not just that, he told me he loved me and to try to give "us" another chance. I was shocked to hear how nonchalant he could be about this whole situation. I gave him a earful and blocked him. School came to an end, and I cut all ties with anyone and everyone involved with the school. Some months later, my family and I moved to the US. I was happy to be out of that toxic place. Now, almost 5 years later, I'm here in Los Angeles. I still have many reservations and a lot of emotional baggage but I have made it my ultimate motive to not let my past dictate my present and my future. This has been a hard task so far, but I'm willing to do the work. I have forgiven everyone involved in the emotional and mental bullying, because I couldn't bear to hold grudges anymore. Am I Facebook friends with some of my ex-classmates? Yes. Am I willing to go back to being friends? However much I have forgiven them, I can't have that toxic energy back in my life.